SNAILS!

So, I got back from London, to find out that my Mother had tidied my room. She said the other day I couldn't get a snail until I did, so I WENT HYPER. Anywaaaaay, I get my snail soon, I think I shall call it Chocolo Ago-go.
Maybe I should explain.
Firstiness, it is an african land snail, and it is not slimy unless you get the soil of its arse :P and it has no gender... and yeah, lets just stop talking so I don't turn into wikipedia xD
 :) PICTURETIMEPICTURETIME (:

Ramblings of a bored person

I HAVE MY NEW FANFIC UP! It is a twilight parody ;) I shalleth put the link at the end... and anyway, my entire family and extended family are at the other end of the room, watching at slideshow of my brothers life. I am up here because I do not want to see naked babies. And anyway, I have business to attend to. Now, have some chickens and a link :)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884067/1/Knives_and_Forks

Rabbit or Vampires?

So, today I was asked if I would rather kiss Edward Cullen or my pet rabbit. I licked the rabbit. When I tell people this, they get creeped out, but think of it this way: Would you rather kiss something that isn't 108, has a heartbeat, has no ego (OK, my rabbit is vain, but that is not the point...) and doesn't sparkle, than something that has been around longer than the invention of helicopters, (Was that recently? I can't remember.), thinks they are the most important and amazing thing ever, and freakin' sparkles? I think I would choose the rabbit, even if I did get fluff in my mouth. I love my rabbit. Maybe I should post a picture of it, so it feels important... yeah, I shall do that ;)

Amazing ways to catch rabbits

Ok, so if you have a free range rabbit in your garden, do not run around trying to madly grab it.
Try and make it go in to a trap, and watch while that fails, then get a rabbit toy and wait for it to be preoccupied, then watch while that fails, then eventually create a ginormous trap. It works.

I hate bedtimes, curfews and restrictive fucking measures.

Basically, my Mother has got it into her head that getting up after 12 means I do not care about anyone but myself. What she doesn't understand is that I cannot help when I wake up. Even if I go to bed at six, I will always wake up after 12, unless she throws water over me. That said, she still insists on me going to bed before midnight. Mother, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Being in bed doing nothing would make me less tired, and I would lie there all night, then sleep all day. Also, I get everything done at night. Her and the rest of my family don't let me on the pc all day, so to do anything, I have to wait for them to go to bed. When I try to explain this to her, she tells me that I have to learn to live with it. I think I might steal the computer wires and see how they feel without it. But first, I am going to pour milky milk in her shoes again. Adios ;)

:)

Has anyone else noticed how utterly cute the smileys in this font are? They're just like yaaaay, lets be cute :) :) :) *rambles about smileys.* :) :) Yeaaaah... Maybe I should go before you get creeped out :) :) :)

Small children

WHO HATES OBNOXIOUS THREE YEAR OLDS? I hate obnoxious three year olds. Seriously, its like, 'yeaaaaah, woohoo, everything we do is frickin' riiiiight, *watches barbie* oooooooooooooooooo look at the sparkly unicorrrrrn!!! then they tell you not to do something, then go the fuck ahead and do it themselves. Also, they do everything you do and get yelled at for, but do they get into trouble? No, they just get people telling them how cute it is that they idolize you, blah blah blah. They also destroy dvds. I HATE them. They steal sweets. And money. "Ooooh, Abi, Katie wants to buy this barbie but I have no money! I promise i'll pay you back if you help!" *later* "CAN I HAVE THE GODDAMN MONEY?" "NO! It was only a fiver, and for a good cause!"

I hate them all.

Scarhead

I'm bored. LETS BABBLE! Babbling ftw, especially when you are hyper. babblelabbalabba POOF. *whistle whistle* This blog is turning into an online diary :s Meheheh. My sister has chickenpox and she looks like Harry Potter with 435876358736 more scars. Malfoy would approve.

Twilight Vs Harry Potter

As you all know, I am absolutely amazing, yeah? So I got inspired by a fanfiction that compared every aspect of Twilight to Harry Potter, and it looked like incredible fun, so I thought I would do it, like here, like NOW. Don't kill me for wasting your time with this pointless speech, you love me really. Social awkwardness for the win!

Just to clarify, not all of these reasons are mine.

MUA HA HA HA HA. So, characters.

Harry vs. Edward - Harry has the ability to live in the world, without dazzling the shit out of people. In the actual world, without his vampire sparkles, Edward would not be wanted. This proves that people only like him because of his sparkly vampireness. Ginny doesn't just want Harry because he is famous, she loves him for who he is. If Edward wasn't a vampire, he wouldn't be so 'dazzling' and wouldn't have his fangirl army. HARRY WINS.

Ginny Weasley vs. Bella Swan - Ginny had liked Harry since she was 10. After liking Edward for about 15 pages of the book, Bella decided she loved him. She had spoken to him what, twice? Harry broke up with Ginny because she was in danger from the greatest dark wizard of all time if she stayed with him. After they split up, she was upset, but instead of trying to commit suicide and becoming a recluse, she did the most she could to help him, like stealing stuff she knew he needed, and training people in combat. Bella got dumped because of a papercut, and then decided to sit in her room doing nothing. Ginny loves her family. She would do anything for them. Bella treats her Father, who took her in and gives her everything, like shit. Ginny the ginger wins (:

Ron Weasley vs. Emmett - Ron's backstory - He is a pureblood, born into a poor family. He has seven siblings, and accidentally kept a criminal as a pet for 12 years. Emmetts backstory - He was attacked by a bear, and turned into a vampire. Ron makes stupid, irrational on-the-spot decisions, like leaving Harry & Hermione alone to stop Voldemort. Emmett does everything perfectly and nothing goes wrong. Even if his family is poor, and get him hate from the Slytherins, Ron loves them. Emmett has an ego the size of his overrated jeep. Ron wins.

The Order vs. The Cullens - The order has Mad-Eye Moody, so that automatically makes it better. It is fighting for the freedom of the entire wizarding, and possibly muggle world. The Cullens are fighting for 1) Victoria not to eat Bella, and 2) The creepy toddler w/ long hair (Renesmee) not to be burnt. The Order ftw.

Sirius Black vs. Jacob Black - Sirius went to avenge his best friends, knowing he would be imprisoned for life. The worst Jacob did was try and kill the Cullens, and he wimped out. Sirius became a dog to help his best mate get through the worst times of his life. Jacob became a dog/wolf because he has a disorder in his blood that mutates him when he gets pissed. Sirius has gorgeous hair. Jacob cut his off to look hard in front of the pack. Sirius DEFINITELY wins.

Hermione vs. Esme - Hermione doesn't let people push her around. She is awesome to the people that care about her, but she still yells at them. Esme is loving towards every being on the planet. She is utterly unbearable. Hermione knows her rights, and isn't afraid to tell people how idiotic they are. Hermyninny wins ;)

Severus Snape vs. Aro - Aro killed his sister, because he hated her and Marcus' happiness. He then went into politics. After the love of Snape's life was killed, he risked his life for seventeen years spying for Albus Dumbledore to protect her son, so she could be avenged and wouldn't have given her life for nothing. Aro has no backstory except that he turned into a vampire and is over 3000. We practically know every detail of Snape's life, which is what makes him awesome. Snape wins ;)

Ministry of Magic vs. The Volturi - The Volturi kill people who piss them off. The Ministry slags them off in the paper, makes people hate them, makes people believe they are insane, and puts them in Askaban with creatures that make them feel like they will never be happy again. Ministry ftw.

Trelawney vs. Alice - Trelawney predicted Wormtail would escape and return to Voldemort, who would then come back at full strength. She also predicted either Neville or Harry would stop Voldemort's return to power, which led to, ultimately, Voldemorts downfall. Alice predicted that Edward would date Bella, and that her and Bella would be friends. Trelawney wins.

Dumbledore vs. Carlisle - Carlisle is a doctor. He fixes broken bones, and plays baseball. He also creates vampires. Dumbledore lived with the fact that his actions led to his sisters death. He told Harry about the horcruxes, and was the only wizard Voldemort ever feared. He planned his own death in order to kill Voldemort, and then came back when Harry was in purgatory to tell him what to do. Dumblydorr = awesome.

Luna & Neville vs. Rosalie & Jasper - Luna has an attitude when people insult her family, and things important to her. Rosalie has an attitude when she isn't the centre of attention. Neville started off shy and pathetic, but eventually destroyed the final horcrux, letting Harry kill Voldemort. Jasper met the love of his life in a pub, after killing hundreds of people. Luna is slightly loopy; Rosalie is way too sane. Luna & Neville win :)

Basically, if a freakin' hogwarts first year was faced with a vampire; one of the 'strongest creatures in the world' they could incinerate it with one spell.

Avada Kedavra

So, my blog and fanfiction.net account haveth been linked. People from the fanfiction site can see the link to here, and people on here are now getting updates about my fanfictions. I recently published one in which the Cullens get bashed. If you don't know who the Cullens are, lucky you. But yeah. Have a link... it isn't that long, just 17 words :) http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6876667/1/Avada_Kedavra
Just for those of you that never realised, this is a Twilight/Harry Potter crossover :) Cullen bashing for the WIN.