SNAILS!

So, I got back from London, to find out that my Mother had tidied my room. She said the other day I couldn't get a snail until I did, so I WENT HYPER. Anywaaaaay, I get my snail soon, I think I shall call it Chocolo Ago-go.
Maybe I should explain.
Firstiness, it is an african land snail, and it is not slimy unless you get the soil of its arse :P and it has no gender... and yeah, lets just stop talking so I don't turn into wikipedia xD
 :) PICTURETIMEPICTURETIME (:

Ramblings of a bored person

I HAVE MY NEW FANFIC UP! It is a twilight parody ;) I shalleth put the link at the end... and anyway, my entire family and extended family are at the other end of the room, watching at slideshow of my brothers life. I am up here because I do not want to see naked babies. And anyway, I have business to attend to. Now, have some chickens and a link :)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884067/1/Knives_and_Forks

Rabbit or Vampires?

So, today I was asked if I would rather kiss Edward Cullen or my pet rabbit. I licked the rabbit. When I tell people this, they get creeped out, but think of it this way: Would you rather kiss something that isn't 108, has a heartbeat, has no ego (OK, my rabbit is vain, but that is not the point...) and doesn't sparkle, than something that has been around longer than the invention of helicopters, (Was that recently? I can't remember.), thinks they are the most important and amazing thing ever, and freakin' sparkles? I think I would choose the rabbit, even if I did get fluff in my mouth. I love my rabbit. Maybe I should post a picture of it, so it feels important... yeah, I shall do that ;)

Amazing ways to catch rabbits

Ok, so if you have a free range rabbit in your garden, do not run around trying to madly grab it.
Try and make it go in to a trap, and watch while that fails, then get a rabbit toy and wait for it to be preoccupied, then watch while that fails, then eventually create a ginormous trap. It works.

I hate bedtimes, curfews and restrictive fucking measures.

Basically, my Mother has got it into her head that getting up after 12 means I do not care about anyone but myself. What she doesn't understand is that I cannot help when I wake up. Even if I go to bed at six, I will always wake up after 12, unless she throws water over me. That said, she still insists on me going to bed before midnight. Mother, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Being in bed doing nothing would make me less tired, and I would lie there all night, then sleep all day. Also, I get everything done at night. Her and the rest of my family don't let me on the pc all day, so to do anything, I have to wait for them to go to bed. When I try to explain this to her, she tells me that I have to learn to live with it. I think I might steal the computer wires and see how they feel without it. But first, I am going to pour milky milk in her shoes again. Adios ;)

:)

Has anyone else noticed how utterly cute the smileys in this font are? They're just like yaaaay, lets be cute :) :) :) *rambles about smileys.* :) :) Yeaaaah... Maybe I should go before you get creeped out :) :) :)

Small children

WHO HATES OBNOXIOUS THREE YEAR OLDS? I hate obnoxious three year olds. Seriously, its like, 'yeaaaaah, woohoo, everything we do is frickin' riiiiight, *watches barbie* oooooooooooooooooo look at the sparkly unicorrrrrn!!! then they tell you not to do something, then go the fuck ahead and do it themselves. Also, they do everything you do and get yelled at for, but do they get into trouble? No, they just get people telling them how cute it is that they idolize you, blah blah blah. They also destroy dvds. I HATE them. They steal sweets. And money. "Ooooh, Abi, Katie wants to buy this barbie but I have no money! I promise i'll pay you back if you help!" *later* "CAN I HAVE THE GODDAMN MONEY?" "NO! It was only a fiver, and for a good cause!"

I hate them all.